Bronx Album

by MCB

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

Purchasable with gift card

name your price

1.	Still Rocking Sweet 01:00	lyrics
So even tho I hate this beat My name’s MCB I’m still rocking sweet Cuz I handle the mike with claws like a bear And it doesn’t even matter what I wear They still call me the... Here is my critique of practical reason I totally reject that I do not believe in Now I’m in my bathtub looking for my back scrub Yeah I’m a fat thug and if you act up I will emerge from my tub like the Kraken With nothing to bespeak my modesty but a napkin
2.	Bronx B (How to be Awesome & Start a Posse) 01:16	lyrics
When I’m on the mike I’m always so cool My name is MCB and I’m the teacher of the school And the first lesson is how to be awesome First you have to dress up like a crazy apostle Like the apostle Paul and then smoke some crack When you’re finished with that now I’ll move on with the rap I’m MCB and I’m telling you here How to start a good posse that is totally weird First you go out on the street and wave with your arm And hopefully you will like stop a couple cars And then you need to ask all the people who stopped To fill out applications and return to your shop And when they all return then you’ll teach them these things How to gyrate and how to dance and sing
3.	Bronx C (Rap Destroyer #1) 00:49	lyrics
Here I am Rap Destroyer #1 I’m MCB and I’m waving a gun And I’m totally crazy with a Fleet Farm hat Now I’m on a saddle riding your cat Yee haw come on it’s rodeo time Look at my arm check out how it flies Come on arm I need you back now Oh drats Bry help me milk this cow Now I’m like Wotan my griddle is golden My pillows are so fat my girdle is broken
4.	A Story about Baseball 00:53	lyrics
Here is a story about baseball Spaceships came down from space y’all And first before the new batter could hit Some aliens came out and threw the pitch So now I’m all screaming and then I faint When I woke up the score was 8 Next thing you know there’s a pop fly ball Then it got stuck when it hit the cloud Bang now the shortstop bursts on fire Here comes Muhammad with a pair of pliers So he fixed the shortstop and won the game But there was a riot but that’s OK
5.	Bronx E ("I returned home just the other day") 00:47	lyrics
I returned home just the other day And didn’t even know like what to say Cuz Lisa was there and her mom was too And I didn’t know what they were trying to do Then I went and like looked around But it was no use cuz they were not found So I got mad then I passed out cold When some time passed I then awoke Now I’m at home but I have to leave But when I look back I almost scream Cuz Lisa was there and her mom was too And I didn’t know what they were trying to do
6.	Bronx F ("a short song I wrote by hand") 00:40	lyrics
This is a short song I wrote by hand Cuz I hate this beat this beat is wack So I only sample super tough I’m MCB I’m chewing snuff I’m on the cut I don my tux I eat oat bran you eat goat tongue Now I charge like a credit card Rolling hard down the boulevard
7.	My Gat 00:51	lyrics
I’m so glad you asked me to rap I’ll start with five lines about my gat My gat is enormous it blasts your face Its bullets are big they’re like bounding bass My gat really kicks back every time you flip that Trigger never gets stuck no it don’t get that Big bizarre cold gat to hold With a bullet that flows straight out of the hole This gat really smacks you gives you a whack Either right in the back or on top of your cap Gat really powerful shooting from a tower tho Now I gotta reload... back in an hour bro
8.	The Grocery Thief 00:55	lyrics
When I first came out the grocery store I could see the man standing there holding a sword So I dropped both my grocery bags on the grass And I pull out my cutlass and stood in my stance Then the man came forth and cold jabbed my chest And I looked down and saw blood all on my dress Then I saw five feet from me my leg gushing blood Then the man grabbed my groceries and got in his truck As I lay there dying in a bloody heap That’s when I knew I’d been had by The Grocery Thief
9.	Bad Santa 01:11	lyrics
I’m the Bad Santa throwing a present at your face And my reindeer are totally pumping the rap bass I’m breaking your chimney with a hammer And throwing a heavy present right at your grandma Driving my sleigh really reckless & knocking down lampposts Flying down real by the ground too close Now I’m never even washing my Santa suit And my black boots are crusty with reindeer poop Tracking thru your carpet and knocking your tree over It is a questionable point whether I’m sober Waking your house up arguing with Mrs. Claus Calling her the 'B'-word with my smoker’s cough
10.	Bronx J ("just talking to the wall") 00:50	lyrics
I was just sitting cold talking to the wall Saying things like what’s up and boy you’re tall Then I said well nice day to sit and relax Then I said uh huh and then I said ah yeah Then there was an earthquake and I fell down And the earth cracked open and split the ground And a skeleton rose up from out of there And grabbed me and pulled me by my hair Down into the earth down under the ground And then the ground closed up and that was all
11.	Leprous Man at the Mall 01:05	lyrics
Leprous Man walking around the mall Look at me I have leprosy I’m scaring you all Putrid white flesh dangling I’m trying to grope you I’m groping mall walkers I’m reaching to poke you I’m out at the mall wearing only a shawl Then I remove my shawl now you’re all appalled When you’re walking out of Sears now you see me here Saying unclean unclean trying to grope your rear Unclean unclean walking in your direction You huddle your family in the food court section And you say no Leprous Man don’t sit next to me But I’m all gross because I have leprosy Leprous man lurking around at the mall When you exit from Macy’s I am standing there now
12.	Bronx L ("a dope freestyle for all you folks") 00:53	lyrics
Here’s a dope freestyle for all you folks Who are totally skeptical whether I’m so dope I am totally fresh my name’s MCB And I’m proving it now because I’m rapping on beat I’m the gray haired ball juggler fuzzy wall hugger Therefore proving conclusively I’m your mother Now I’m at a coffee shop looking for a hockey puck When I found a bolt lock connected to a black truck Next thing you know my wig fell off Then I vomited blood until I went into shock MCB rock the beat MCB your style is sweet
13.	Fighting Warlock Zorg 01:38	lyrics
I was riding my horse upon the rolling hills When all the sudden a wind came and gave me a chill So I pulled back the reins and I drew my sword Next thing you know I’m speaking to the Warlock Zorg Now the Warlock Zorg is like the Spirit of Nature But his powers are various and suspiciously greater There was a light surrounding him with a vision of demons Then my horse got scared my horse’s name is Stephen So I said hey Stephen it’s OK don’t worry But then my vision got blurry because I was in a hurry And I hadn’t eaten before I left my house That is probably Warlock Zorg’s plan no doubt To take me by surprise, but I’m far too wise So I utilized my alchemy power to make fries And a hamburger from some rocks I found But then Warlock Zorg comes down and swoops down And takes my food, changes my food back to mud By this time I was real mad and ready for blood So I told Stephen to go over and graze in the grass Yo Stephen I got a job to finish I’ll be fast Don’t worry there’s a little spot of grass over there That you can eat while I go beat this wizard of air Now Warlock Zorg puts his hand up high And lightning bolts flash from his fingers five But I used my mind power of python yoga To achieve Buddha consciousness and form a Toyota From the surrounding herbage, so I hit him I’m swerving Now I drive back over him and my tires are burning Then the whole scene collapsed in an illusion of matter So I unhooked Stephen and mounted him with a ladder Then we rode to the sunset our job is done Who the heck says fighting Nature Sprits ain’t fun