Rapping in My Room

by MCB

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1.	Giant Orange Peel with Deadly Teeth 01:01	lyrics
Here is a story that I should tell About one time when all was well But then we all stopped and looked around And holy crap! up out of the ground Comes a giant orange peel with deadly teeth And chased everybody who was at the beach Its deadly teeth were like razor sharp And for miles around you could hear its bark I was like scared I was going to die And my brother was with me and so was Bry And we all were sobbing and trying to run From the giant orange peel with nasty gums And big teeth
2.	Airborne Boat 01:24	lyrics
Have you ever ridden in an airborne boat They are safe for children and soft like snow They glide thru the air with skis of silk And they’re warm inside like a pitcher of milk I like to ride in my airborne boat Cuz it goes so fast cuz it can’t go slow It only goes slow when you need to land But you will rarely need to do that Cuz it is a boat that floats on air It eliminates all worldly cares It never breaks down, it doesn’t use fuel It’s powered by using a magic tool And it’s totally odorless and safe for kids And it looks like a capsule filled with fizz With two silk skis for landing softly It tastes better than decaf coffee Airborne boat holy smokes Looks like a little piece of soap Nothing as strange has ever been built With skis on the bottom that are made of silk
3.	Chocolate Grave Monsters 01:16	lyrics
I don’t mean to scare you to death But here is a thing that I saw out west Chocolate grave monsters raving mad They tried to chase us and tried to grab They popped up out of the gravy mosh pit Scary monsters all made of chocolate I was like scared to death of them Cuz there were so many like more than ten They were chasing howling and totally barking And one of them even was illegally parking I was so scared I’m not gonna lie Cuz chocolate grave monsters cannot die Cuz chocolate never does really go bad Cuz all of the preservatives that it has But even at that it’s a tasty snack Unless it dies and then like comes back Chocolate grave monsters Help me mom Chocolate grave monsters They’re the bomb
4.	Nasty Teachers 01:22	lyrics
When I was young and I went to school And even though I was a stupid fool The stupider fools were my nasty teachers They have faces all covered with leeches When they were teaching me how to read Their nasty lips would like crack and bleed And their hair would fall out and shed on me And their drool would splash all wet on me And when they would come and speak to me Their breath would totally reek to me Their breath was nasty stinking bad Like raw meat rancid egg breath ham Then they would try to teach me math But I was like dang you need a bath Cuz they had like visibly dirty clothes And their armpits were totally soaked Nasty teachers take a bath Only then will I learn math I refuse to learn your lesson Until you like take a breath mint
5.	Pot Smoking Crib Robbers 01:14	lyrics
Call the mommy call the father Pot smoking crib robbers Where’s my baby where’s my daughter Pot smoking crib robbers Help somebody call the cops There’s a residue of pot And my baby now is gone Look they left a magic wand No that’s not a magic wand That’s a cigarette for pot That explains the residue But where is my baby boo She was sleeping in the crib Then I went to do a bid Now I’m back but she is gone Plus it really smells like pot Oh my god this can’t be happening I think I’m going crazy Someone came into my house And smoked some pot and stole my baby Call the mommy call the father Pot smoking crib robbers Where’s my baby where’s my daughter Pot smoking crib robbers
6.	Alien Lettuce People 01:16	lyrics
Here is the worst kind of moral evil Meeting some alien lettuce people I remember when I was five When I met them I almost died They were all green and leafy crisp And I was like totally scared as shit Oh my gosh mom here they are The alien lettuces steal our car And drive really slow and chase us down And show us their roots and make us frown Alien lettuces you are bad Now I’m gonna go get my dad So my dad comes and now he’s mad He only eats red meat and fat He never eats no lettuce, fool You’re gonna make him blow his fuse
7.	Dead Angel 01:26	lyrics
Once upon a time on the 4th of July I was going for a fly up high in the sky In my gold helicopter taking a spin Then I heard something hit my fin A super loud thud that made me scared So I pulled over and fixed my hair Then I got out and looked oh my gosh There's a dead angel like on that rock I hit an angel in my helicopter Cuz I was driving all high on vodka I was all sobbing and trying to focus And looking around hoping nobody noticed He’s too heavy for me to move So I tie a rope to one of his shoes And with my chopper I lift him high And drop him into a lake nearby Is it a bird? Probably not Is it a plane? Oh my gosh It is neither of those two things Why does a dead raccoon have wings
8.	Syrup Forest 01:33	lyrics
Back when I was dating Chuck Norris We took a stroll thru Syrup Forest Wow what a nice place for lovers All of the birds are trying to flutter But all their wings are all drenched and sticky Plus the tree leaves are wilted sickly And all over the ground is mushy All squirrel tails are never bushy They’re all slicked back to look like rats Here comes a syrup jungle cat That’s trying to clean its fur that’s sticky Then Mr. Norris moves in to kiss me Now he’s frenching me deep and slow All syrupy smooth like hot french toast Then we ease down onto the ground And sink down in it and drown Syrup Forest a place for lovers Syrup Forest devoid of gutters
9.	Plastic Fireman 01:30	lyrics
So even though he can’t move his hands And his back has a big stamp “Made in Japan” He’ll still save your life from the burning can No he’s not wax he’s Plastic Fireman And even though he has a painted face And one of his hands fused with a suitcase And hard to balance on plastic legs He’ll rescue you from the burning keg He’s Plastic Fireman super cool He can position himself on stools To create the illusion that he’s ready to jump And put out the fire he saved you from He doesn’t worry about his health Even if he does get burnt and melt All they have to do is mold him again And then after that just paint him red Plastic Fireman ring the bell Thank you for saving us out of Hell
10.	Waterproof Pantyhose 01:19	lyrics
Here is a product I’d like to show They are some waterproof pantyhose Very useful and nice and sturdy I am size twelve, you’re size thirty I was at a party with all of my colleagues And there was a punch bowl of liquid broccoli And somebody lost their contact in it So I jumped in and swam deep in it And found not only their contact lens But also a hen and two firemen And all because I had waterproof pantyhose Plus they are patterned with turquoise roses They make super fun gifts for Christmas Because the crotch has sturdy stitches And you can wear them with moon boots now Plus there’s a back door for choo-choo cows Waterproof means you can spill your beer And pantyhose means they’re super queer I run around and huff and pout And float all about in my period blouse