Slow Raps with Guitar Solos?

by MCB

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1.	Hose 00:43	lyrics
MCB the gangster Using a hanger to hang my banger Selling my drugs on the block increasing my stock Now I have high stock for cocaine rocks
2.	Park 01:00	lyrics
One time I grew up as high as the moon After that I gave birth to a bloody baboon I’m MCB and this is my band And I’m much bigger than the country Japan I’m dripping with blood my brain’s exploding Calling my homies cuz now I am lonely Then I drive my Fiero to the center of the earth And had a transcendental vision of Mrs Butterworth I like to throw metal Chinese stars After telling some nursery rhymes at the park
3.	Hand 00:57	lyrics
Bang bang bang now I bang my banger Loading my weapon and waiting for danger I sniff cocaine crystals I just whistle and somebody hands me a pistol And just for no reason I shoot somebody That’s why my carpet looks all ruddy That’s why I own a massive freezer I use bangers to bang crack geekers Of all citizens of New Jersey Crack geekers are the least trustworthy I’m giving birth to a battering ram That damages the delivering doctor’s hand
4.	Path 01:04	lyrics
I am a big rapper totally mean Standing right in your path and wearing Guess Jeans I’m stealing all your lunch money plugging up your plumbing Now I’m going hunting and I’m killing some guppies I give credit cards out at Christmas You’ll never guess how enormous my fist is It is like bigger than a box of tofu Red lights are the only kind I go thru I receive severed fingers as gifts And my favorite deejay is DJ Quik
5.	Master Rapper 01:13	lyrics
Let’s get down to business MCB is raping Christmas Throwing meatloaf at my mistress Faster than some flying discs I’m a flannel wearing mammal Teaching Daniel from the Bible jazz piano With a rifle At the wrong banjo recital While I’m tweaking both your ears My brain is leaking into gear Tho I’m speaking what you hear I’m freaking cuz I need crack rock Baby gimme crack rock All I want is crack rock Gimme shiny crack rock I’m teaching using lazy baby bearings MCB I’m wearing Something very sheen sheener than a laser beam Laser beaming ballerina and I’m wearing Danger Jeans I’m the preteen Stratocaster Proto-plastic master rapper
6.	Tanker 01:04	lyrics
MCB keeping it real Staying true to the streets packing steel This aint no joke this is life for me I always pack steel and rap on beat Yeah gangster rap waving my banger Rest in peace to Kris Parker my trainer I go bang bang at rival gangs Then I do cocaine then I steal a plane I got rifles with real long stems And loose-fitting clothes in which to hide them You can tell that I’m thugging cuz I’m waving my banger That is shooting with the bang force thrust of a tanker
7.	Untitled (Geese) 01:03	lyrics
I have two guns that shoot out bombs And a faceless clock with invisible arms My name is Bryan I rap the beat And geese make good goose-flavored ice cream My name’s Bryan I’m a serial rappist I got drowned by some maniac Baptists I rock the mike with kissably fresh breath And my stage name is Billy Crystal Meth I drive a tank with a sunroof Either or an edible horse with bun hooves I wear parachute pants that help me dance And a super sharp lance for sweet romance My pigtails are eight miles long Why did you break my fake trial bong
8.	Untitled (Ma) 01:23	lyrics
I slam the track with an awesome rap That’s really my hair it’s not no hat I’m the big dope rapper Daddy Mack B With a gold chain with a fur coat with fleas I’m dazzling wack rappers I’m battling Getting help from dead rappers I’m channeling And you know that cuz I’m juicy Bigger than a big blackberry-filled fruit tree I’m like that crazy drunken lady Who kept paging me in 1980 Or I’m like half He-Man half Skeletor Half Battle Cat Roosevelt Eleanor Flashdance can smasher I’m afflicting the MC Hammer dancers with pant cancer Crawling out the gutter eating butter Retroactively aborting my mother
9.	Untitled (Peace) 01:13	lyrics
MCB now I’m back in town Mobbing with the dog pound bow wow wow I like to ride my bike to the mall And shoot all people at random y’all Now I’m back with a cracked head laying in bed Bleeding on everything, everything’s red I like blood because it drips and flows And it makes really good french blood toast I’m Blood Man taking a bloodbath Eating a blood snack smoking some blood crack Baking a blood cake waiting till it coagulates Then I’m eating my blood cake make no mistake I’m chilling in the ghetto wearing army fatigues Chilling in the street hiding under some leaves Shooting at some people as they walk by me It’s war in the streets word up peace
10.	Untitled (Tooth) 01:05	lyrics
MCB I’m smooth as silk Or I’m rapping like butter cuz I’m like buttermilk Cuz I’m smooth and relaxed kicking back on the track When I rap I always wear a nice hat Either that or my hair is combed really nice I only roll dice and my favorite food is rice Now I’m back on the track with a rap for you Now I’m back with my posse that’s wack for you My posse is the best cuz we pass every test Even if you ask my neighbors they always say yes When you ask anybody if my posse is cool There is no way they’ll ever say no to you I’m gonna slam this track to death Cuz I got all high on crystal meth Now I’m MCB the growing boy That’s how you know I eat my soy MCB and you know I’m smooth I’m back on the groove with a tube of lube I’m back and I’m wack and I’m smooth like that And I’m always on the track with a rap that’s bad Cuz I rap so smooth and I’m totally nude Which is why I’m so smooth I lost my tooth

about

A demo tape that I recorded back when “gangsta rap” was the latest fad. I thought it’d be amusing to write some typically “gangsta” lyrics and then say them without conviction, because a fool with my demeanor shouldn’t be attempting that genre; but it didn’t work well.

At the time, I assumed that guitar solos were anathema to rap, which is why I made the decision to include them; yet now that all music has melted into one vague heap, the audacity of my decision is lost. So each track ends with a guitar performance by my biological brother Paul. Please note that I didn’t ever let Paul rehearse or do more than one take, I just forced him to play cold during his first time hearing each beat, because I wanted to finish fast.